Category Archives: fibromyalgia

Acknowledging the Bad to Appreciate the Good


I’m still working on my health and fitness regime which is up and down depending on my energy levels and how busy I’ve been.    For example, with the arrival of the lovely spring weather I’ve spent a lot more time working in the garden, mainly weeding but planting summer bulbs and seeds too.   However, at the end of the day I find myself wondering why I’m in so much pain.   Then I remember how I’ve been getting up and down off the floor, using my arms to help myself and my hands digging up those deep roots.  


It doesn’t take a lot of work to feel like you’ve ran a marathon when you have fibromyalgia.  I’m so determined not to identify myself with the condition that I forget that this is what causes the symptoms I get.   So I thought give you a little bit of insight into how fibromyalgia impacts my life.


One of the main symptoms is widespread pain.   I consider myself luckier than many because I’m not in constant agonising pain and relying on pain medication to function.   However, I suffer with painful stiffness most of the time, it’s worse in the mornings after being in bed all night and in the evenings after resting, it’s like I turn to stone when I’m still for too long and I feel like a rusty tin man trying to get up and walk.   

I have problems with my knees, I struggle to get down on the floor and getting up from a chair can be agonising, I’m not sure if this is fibromyalgia or not.  The numerous times I’ve been to a doctor over the years, they examine me and say there is nothing wrong, they won’t even send me for x-rays or scans.   I’ve had physio but that didn’t help.   I know losing weight will reduce the stress put on them and that’s all part of the plan but sometime exercise is very painful.

The rest of the pain I get is more a feeling of being bruised all over, any pressure can be felt right down to my bones.   When I use the blood pressure monitor, the inflated band causes excruciating pain, as though it was a metal clamp with nails penetrating the skin.  At my worst I get random stabbing pains and any area I’ve been putting stress on through work or exercise is very painful, I get hot tingling sensations occasionally from my sacrum area up to my waist and very restless.

I don’t like taking medication and try to avoid painkillers if I can help it.   I can’t take anti-inflammatories anymore due to the heart medication I’m on so all I can take is paracetamol which I will take if its too difficult to sleep etc.   I try to manage with Epsom salt baths and homemade pain relief oils with essential oils.

The main thing I focus on is that it is only temporary, I’m not in this state constantly and I’m very grateful for that.  


I think this is the worst part of it, my energy levels are very low most of the time.  If I do feel particularly energetic, I have to be very careful not to overdo it and clean the whole house or do two hours in the gym.  It’s so tempting when you feel good to just get all those tasks out of the way but if I don’t pace myself I will crash and end up having to rest for far longer.  The frustrating thing about this is no matter how many times you tell people about your condition, they forget and don’t understand, notice or make allowances for you.   You end up feeling lazy and useless and feel that everyone thinks you are just making excuses, this can lead to trying to do more than you should so that you don’t feel judged and then end up in a worse situation having to recover from another flare up.   Anyone with an ‘invisible’ illness will understand this.


Fibromyalgia also causes brain fog so I get very forgetful and struggle to concentrate for long periods of time.  I have to remind myself of this too when I struggle with the French language and beat myself up for not trying harder to learn it.    If I don’t make a ToDo List I sometimes get a bit disorientate not knowing what to do because I have so many things I’m trying to do it can get overwhelming.  


I have a very sensitive sense of smell, I can’t tolerate artificial fragrances and any fowl smell is extreme, I can smell the cat’s little tray from the other side of the house.  My nose is constantly blocked but not congested, as though my airways have closed up which makes using the CPAP machine difficult.   I can’t stand very loud noises or the wind either, they make me very on edge and anxious.


There are things that make my condition worse and I try to be careful to avoid them or at least prepare myself for them, these are:

Mental/Emotional Stress:   Any form of stress puts me into a state where I find it difficult to function.   It could be having to deal with official matters, tax etc.  The vast amount of administration for the children’s education or sometimes healthcare.  Worries about financial security.  Unexpected change of plans that require me to take some form of action.

Lack of Sleep:   If I have a bad nights sleep my symptoms are quite often at their worst the following day which isn’t too bad if I don’t have plans, I just take it easy, but if I have to work, go to appointments or social engagements I find it extremely difficult.

Overwork:  Like I said earlier, too much exercise or manual labour cause a flare up.    Even though it’s essential to exercise for my heart and weight control, too much physical work can have a detrimental effect.   It’s necessary to get the right balance.  If I pace myself, I may feel bad at the end of the day but usually recover by the next day.

Negativity:  All of these setbacks can lead to spiralling negative thoughts and feelings.   Frustration leads to despair to feeling useless, feeling trapped in a cyclone of obstacles.  There have been times when I have given in to self-pity, feeling alone in my world of pain.  No matter what I try nothing improves.   The exhaustion has sometimes got to a point where I wish I could go to sleep for weeks and wake up healed.  You start to believe the judgement of medical professionals.  They all tell me to lose weight ‘eat less and move more’ as if I didn’t know that.  During my last visit to the doctor I told her how desperate I was to lose weight but that it was difficult having a family to cater for too and she simply said ‘children don’t need biscuits either’!!!!   I didn’t have the energy to explain that it wasn’t the unhealthy snacking but that sometimes I can’t even think about what to make for dinner let alone have the energy to prepare it so I let the family cater for themselves and eat whatever is easy.  I felt she would just think I was making excuses and no one will take me seriously until I lose a lot of weight.  These negative scenarios do not help me in any way, just make me want to give up.


Generally, I am a very positive person though.  I am a complementary therapist, I go to healing workshops and study various other healing methods and still believe that life is good and will be even better.   But I also have a shadow side and even the most positive person can feel sorry for themselves.   I don’t always practice what I preach and have never tried to be a saint or guru etc. 

I truly believe that we have a purpose in life, or that we can create one.  My passion is Self-Healing, Therapy Work and Writing and this is what this blog is about.  

Putting myself out there and sharing my journey helps me to centre myself and get back on the right track.


The healing methods I’m focussing on are the ones I write articles on, you can find them in the menu at the top of the page.  I’m also studying other therapies for my business that will have a positive effect on my own wellbeing too.

After recently seeing other people go through problems where I was not able to help such victims of wars, poverty and ill health, I felt very sad.   But I reflected on it for a while and decided that even though I can acknowledge these matters and help in whatever way I can like, donating money or clothing, sending healing etc.  If there is nothing else I can do, then I need to focus on the things I can control.  These things are my own personal health, finding ways to earn a better living, work in the garden, continue my studies and find time for my creative hobbies.   I am so fortunate that I have so many options no matter how I’m feeling physically.

One way to help others and myself is by reaching out to them by writing this blog and putting positive posts on social media.   When I write a post or article, I get inspired to take action myself because I feel more optimistic and enthusiastic about the subjects I’m exploring.

A healing method I’m writing about now is ‘Forgiveness’, I wont talk about it too much here because I will publish it at the same time as this post.   But it’s one of the best ways to release emotions that are locked in your body and mind enabling you to move forward.

So I’m going finish off this post by making a commitment to keep practicing gratitude, acceptance, self compassion, and overcome my self-limiting beliefs, by practicing what I preach!

I hope you found this article interesting and useful. If you like this take look at some of my other pages where I talk about different therapies. If you’d like to see my future content then please enter your email and press subscribe below and you will be alerted when I publish anything new. Also, as this is a new website I would love to hear your opinions and suggestions about what I write and you can make comments at the bottom of the page. Thank You for taking the time to read this. Until next time, I wish you all the very best. Janet x

I am currently affiliated with Body FX. This page may contain other affiliated links and if you purchase any item from following one of these links I may receive a small commission. Images that I haven’t taken myself are from, or

I am currently affiliated with Body FX. This page may contain other affiliated links and if you purchase any item from following one of these links I may receive a small commission. Images that I haven’t taken myself are from, or

Feeling Optimistic

This week I decided to make a concerted effort to take control of my health and wellbeing.   I’ve been working towards it for months by gradually introducing healthier habits and now I’m implementing a regime to get me over the first hurdle for the next couple of weeks.  The ones that seem to have worked best for me health wise as well as for weight loss are Keto and Intermittent Fasting.   The keto diet helps to kick start me into dropping those unhealthy carbs and reducing my appetite and only eating during an 8 hour period helps me to stop grazing and late night snacking.  

However, after four days on the keto diet I hit a brick wall energy wise which is probably due to the lack of salt. This time hasn’t been any different and when I started to feel weak, I decided to take my blood pressure with a machine I bought when I was diagnosed with arrhythmia last year. I was alarmed to see that I was just one level below the extreme danger mark! I did a bit of research and it is quite normal for this diet to have an effect on your blood pressure and it can cause episodes of arrhythmia and increased blood pressure, this is because the diet can disrupt your electrolytes and you need to increase your sodium, magnesium and potassium levels. I already take supplements and after I drank a lot more water and took more salt and my heart rate stabilised. I struggle to maintain a keto diet for more than a few weeks anyway and I can’t take the risk of it affecting my heart. But being overweight is also having a very detrimental effect on my health though, so with this in mind I’m looking to adjust to a more of a Mediterranean style diet which may be better for my condition.

I’ve lost a couple of pounds in a week though but now I’m looking up recipes to make sure I don’t affect my heart rhythm in a detrimental way and still lose weight. I don’t want to go back to eating bread and pastry though as this is what I ate far too much of before. So the search goes on to find the right way but hopefully it won’t be too long before I feel like I’m on the right track.

Illnesses in the home

Last week my daughter tested positive for Covid-19 and had to stay home and my son also had the flu.   They were both isolating in different rooms most of the time and my daughter wore a mask when in the same room so fortunately, I don’t seem to have caught anything from them and they haven’t shared their illnesses with each other  or my husband. They were both quite ill though, my daughter had had symptoms the previous week at school (she boards so only home at weekends) and mainly suffered with a cough, headache and exhaustion. My son was worse with the flu and spent the first three days in bed with a fever, body aches and exhaustion. We all got tested at the lab mid week and their conditions were confirmed. They are all better now though and have returned to school today so I can start focusing on myself again.


I’ve really been enjoying the Zumba and Figure 8 workouts so I will continue with them but I’d also like to do a short daily morning routine, when I say short, I mean only 5-10 minutes of Yoga stretches or something to set me up for the day.    Something I can make into a habit every morning when I get out of bed.   I’m going to look up some chi gong or tai chi moves that will energise me and help with flexibility too as I am always very stiff in the mornings.   If you are familiar with Donna Eden’’s Energy Medicine techniques there are a lot of routines you can use with this too.  So once I’ve decided on a routine I have to find way to remind myself to do it, it’s said that it takes three weeks to establish a habit so maybe a checklist is required to start with until it become part of my normal morning routine like cleaning my teeth.

Working with Energy

I haven’t been very busy with my therapy work what with people being ‘Covid contact cases’ clients and myself included; but, I recently did a lovely Reiki session with a client   and after the treatment I really felt like I wanted to work more in this area.  It isn’t a therapy I often promote as I concentrate more on Reflexology or Massage but I feel drawn to working more with energy.  I already take part in a monthly healing group with some likeminded friends, it started with Reiki but we share lots of different ideas and methods and its really inspirational and therapeutic too.  With this in mind I’m going to add Reiki and Chakra balancing to the treatments I offer and I’m enrolling a few other courses to complement and add more depth to the treatments I offer.  

I also take part in three monthly workshops a friend of mine does on Shamanic Healing and Spiritual Counselling. I’ve found these to be very beneficial in overcoming some of my own insecurities and also being a better therapist to my clients.


One area I’ve been particularly interested in for many years actually, is Manifestation.   You may also know it as ‘The Law of Attraction’, ‘Cosmic Ordering System’ or ‘The Secret’.   I bought an online package called ‘Manifestation Magic’ a few years ago, it mainly comprises of a selection of Meditations to help raise your vibration to attract the things you want into your life.    My issue was that I couldn’t let go of the self doubt and sceptical thoughts no matter how much I tried to be positive.

A couple of things you need to manifest is first to know exactly what you want and then really be able to visualise it so that it feels real and believable. To let go of desire and needs because these identify your feelings of lacking something and what you focus on you attract.

So, I need to be specific about what I want and work on overcoming my own obstacles. I know I want to be fit and healthy, I want to be fluent in French, I want to be successful in my work and secure in my relationships etc. I am already working on the negative thinking and beliefs and I feel I’m doing really well in this area. I’m still using the ‘Five Second Rule’ that I talked about in my last post and finding that I have far greater control over my thoughts and feelings because of this and also getting more done.

I’ve also been listening to one of the meditations when I go to bed and since doing this I’ve noticed I’m acting on articles or advertisements I see relating to self healing and therapies. I feel more enthusiastic about studying and I’ve recommenced courses that I enrolled in over a year ago that got put aside or forgotten. These courses include a different form of Reiki and Quantum Healing etc and will not only help with my own healing but also be able to enhance the work I already do.

As if all the courses I’m doing are not enough, I am also enrolling on a course that came to my attention very recently and I feel it will greatly compliment the work I already do. It’s called Facial Emotional Therapy, here is a brief extract of what it’s about:

Facial Emotional Therapy is a gentle non-invasive treatment, designed specifically to work in sync with the nervous system, giving the opportunity to experience peace and rejuvenation through sensitive touch and soothing strokes over the meridian system. Working directly on the face, head, and neck accesses many of the significant energy points relating to the various systems of the body, clearing stress levels and emotional blockages allowing relaxation and clarity of mind to take place. The entire body experiences a deep and profound state of bliss. This therapy merges techniques drawn from physiotherapy, kinesiology, facial harmony, brain gym, energy healing, remedial massage, and reflexology‘.

I’m really looking forward to doing this course in particular as it is an accredited and recommended course by the IICT (International Institute of Complementary Therapists) of which I am a member so I will definitely be able to offer this to clients.

Attention Span

I’ll be focussing on keeping up with all the things I’ve talked about above, it seems quite a lot and one of the symptoms of fibromyalgia I experience is not being able to concentrate for long periods of time. This is why I have so many things I like to do but become overwhelmed sometimes. The way I’m going to deal with this is to dedicate a limited amount of time to different subjects. Like at school you would go from one class to another, this is how I am going to approach learning the different subjects and also incorporate new habits and hobbies. That way I’m hoping to be able to progress slowly in each area because I won’t get bogged down on one thing to the point were I can’t focus. Ideally I will alternate between studying and more physical work like exercise and my normal day to day routines of shopping, housework and cooking.

Talking of attention span, I know myself how difficult it is to focus and read long articles so I’m going to finish here. Before my next update I will try to write my next article on either Gratitude or Forgiveness. If you haven’t looked at any of my articles yet take a look at the menu and see if anything interests you. I find all of these subject are helping me get to where I want to be and hope you will find them useful too.

If you’d like to see my future content then please enter your email and press subscribe below and you will be alerted when I publish anything new. Also, as this is a new website I would love to hear your opinions and suggestions about what I write and you can make comments at the bottom of the page. Thank You for taking the time to read this. Until next time, I wish you all the very best. Janet x

I am currently affiliated with Body FX. This page may contain other affiliated links and if you purchase any item from following one of these links I may receive a small commission. Images that I haven’t taken myself are from, or

I am currently affiliated with Body FX. This page may contain other affiliated links and if you purchase any item from following one of these links I may receive a small commission. Images that I haven’t taken myself are from, or

Being a Tortoise instead of a Hare

Positive Little Changes


I have been making small changes in my habits that I’m hoping will become natural instincts in my daily routine. I haven’t started a ‘diet’ as such and I am reluctant to do that because I’ve done it all before and even though it works it has to be maintained for life so I really just want to change my habits.

I haven’t lost weight but I’m gradually changing my eating habits and have a healthy breakfast and lunch to start with. This doesn’t meant I eat pizza for dinner though (only occasionally) but I may still have a desert or snack afterwards. I’m incorporating more of the low calorie meals from the Pinch of Nom books and Slimming Eats websites because the whole family enjoy them.

I did go without alcohol for about five weeks and now only have it at the weekend or if we occasionally eat out for lunch.


I’ve started doing a weekly Zumba workout with a friend which encourages me to do a longer sessions than I would on my own. I also manage to fit in shorter exercise sessions in between, so even if I don’t do a full workout I’m still doing more than I was before and I’m improving each time. I suffer from knee pain which makes a lot of the movements difficult but it seems to be less restrictive each time. I listen to my body and if I’ve been too still for too long I get up and move. I’ll do a short workout, take a walk or even l do some standing crunches from the Figure 8 workouts whilst cleaning my teeth or waiting for the kettle to boil etc. It’s not much yet, but every little helps.


It’s a couple of weeks since I updated my blog but I have written a couple of articles. I’m not sure if people get alerted to them being published like they do with the blog but you can find them here:

I still have three more articles to write on the subjects that I said I would go into more detail about in my last post, these are:

I will be adding these in the next few weeks and will update this post with the links when they are published.


I have a few creative hobbies that I enjoy and have a few small projects on the go. I started macramé last year and enjoyed making lots of Christmas decorations and wall hangings. Also a couple of years ago I decided to make Christmas gifts for family in the UK, I made a selection of things like tote bags, jewellery and even some homemade balms and incense etc. I also made dreamcatchers and suncatchers and enjoyed making these so much I started to make a lot more. I’m trying to add this activity to my business so that I can eventually sell them. Also I’ve been practicing making beads with polymer clay, I used to do this years ago and saw some clay for sale recently so thought I might make a bit of jewellery for myself.

Currently I’m finishing off a few embroidery projects too. I love making gifts for people but rarely finish off things I start for myself so I’ve decided I need to do this as part of a self-nurturing process. I started embroidering a Shamanic Medicine Wheel a couple of years ago and as I still attend workshops in this field I am focussing on finishing it before I start anything else. I will publish a photo of it when it’s complete.


I have lots of online courses, podcasts and videos that I intend to get around to when I have the time and since one of my recent articles was about time management, I realised that I didn’t talk about Multi-Tasking. I often multi-task when doing housework but I decided to do this with recreational things too, like listen to podcasts whilst walking the dog and loading up my YouTube playlists whilst doing some embroidery. The good thing about algorithms is that you discover new material in the areas of interest you have and in my recommendations were videos of ‘Mel Robbin’s 5 Second Rule’.

5 Second Rule

In brief the system explained in the video is simply counting down from five to one to motivate you into action. The video explains how to use it and the book that you can find in the links on the sidebar goes into more detail of how to use for different purposes. At the moment I’m using it to stop negative thoughts, as soon as I recognise my mind drifting into areas that eventually bring me down, e.g. reliving how someone may have upset me in the past, I count down 5,4,3,2,1 and stop thinking about it. Also when I suddenly lose the motivation to do something that I really want to do I count down and do it anyway. It’s quite subtle, you don’t suddenly get an overwhelming impulse to do something but it stops you spiralling and can do it anyway even if you don’t feel like it. The more I’ve been doing it the less I’ve needed to use it. For example, during times of exhaustion and more pain from the fibromyalgia, just getting up out of a chair can be a real struggle and leads me to put off doing things, so I used the 5 second rule and did it anyway. I’ve since noticed that I don’t even need to count and I’m responding naturally to getting up to go and get something or do something without the fear of pain or the voice in my head saying I’m too tired.

Spring is in the air

Daffodils in my Garden

It seems like winter is never ending, although we are at the end of March we’ve had continuous gale force winds for the last couple of weeks, I really don’t like the wind, I hate the sound of it howling around the house, it chills me to the bone. I don’t mind a gentle breeze in the summer, but the bitter cold blasts we’ve had recently I can do without. However, they seem to be dispersing and I’m hoping to get out into the garden next week to get it ready for the summer. I find gardening very therapeutic, it can be quite meditative and being in nature is very good for the soul so that is more multi-tasking I can look forward to.

You Tube

I’ve mentioned before that I have a YouTube channel, at the moment there are a few meditation videos on there with lovely musical soundtracks. I am in the process of creating my own guided meditations and I’m looking to put together some of my own background music as I’ve heard of a lot of scams where royalty free music is changed once it’s embedded into peoples video and people having to then pay a ridiculous amount for the copyright or lose any monetisation from it. I don’t want to spend ages making a video only to have to take it down and re-do it if it gets popular.

I also have a few other ideas for the channel and that is to do some demonstrations of the therapies I provide and also some instructional videos on self massage and reflexology etc.

I also thought of doing a few personal updates on my progress with health and fitness. This is something I will have to pluck up courage to do though, but eventually I hope to get there. You can see my channel by following one of the links on the side bar and when I do my personal videos I’ll link to them in future posts.

Tortoise and the Hare

As the heading of this post suggests I’m making slow and gradual progress (tortoise), in the past I’ve enthusiastically thrown myself into regimes and do really well to start with (hare) but I get distracted and don’t continue with my efforts. I hope that by taking things slow and steady, gradually introducing new habits, I can make long term changes that will produce the results I want and be able to maintain them.

Thank you for taking the time to read my post. If you like this article please take look at some of my other pages or blog posts where I talk about different therapies and my own wellbeing journey and if you’d like to see future posts then please enter your email address and click on the subscribe button below and you will be notified of future content. I have no plans to use your email address for any other purpose. Feel free to share my page with anyone you feel may be interested and if you have any feedback about what I write or suggestions for further articles then please use the comment box further down the page. Warmest Wishes, Janet x

I am currently affiliated with Body FX. This page may contain other affiliated links and if you purchase any item from following one of these links I may receive a small commission. Images that I haven’t taken myself are from, or

I am currently affiliated with Body FX. This page may contain other affiliated links and if you purchase any item from following one of these links I may receive a small commission. Images that I haven’t taken myself are from, or

Obstacles and Distractions

I started this blog to share my progress on the goals I’ve set myself on overcoming physical limitations, losing weight and improving my overall wellbeing.    My intention was that by sharing with you my schedule and progression, I will be motivated to stay on track as well as inspire others to achieve their goals.

What has held me back in the past has been the inability to focus and commit to my own needs because of ‘life getting in the way’.  The distractions of unexpected events and demands on our attention and time lead us to forget the new positive habits we wanted to incorporate into our lifestyles.


These last two weeks have been a perfect example of this; for a start it’s the school holidays and whilst my children are now teenagers and don’t want me to spend time with them like when they were younger, they still need taking to appointments, shopping trips for school books or clothes, taxiing to social events and obviously providing more meals which means, more time shopping and preparing and cleaning etc.  Another distraction has been building work at the house so lots of mess and noise.   So, I’ve been immersed in trying to keep on top of the normal day to day routines, delegate chores to reluctant teenagers, rearrange clients to fit into less chaotic noisy time frames and taking my children to school meetings and driving lessons and so on.   I’ve managed to do a few things for myself like a little bit of gardening, writing blog articles and a bit of creative work such as embroidery, macramé and wire art which I’ve tried to combine with listening to audio podcasts or relaxing watching TV etc.  


I’ve mentioned in previous posts that I suffer from fibromyalgia and this is my major obstacle because the effect of doing too much leads me suffer from a flare up where I am in so much pain and feel so exhausted it’s a struggle to not only prepare a simple meal but also the brain fog that goes along with it means I struggle to even come up with an idea of what to make in the first place.  In an ideal world I would have lots of pre-prepared meals that can be heated up easily by any member of the family. 

There are lots of distractions and excuses that prevent us achieving what we set out to do. Unless you have a perfect work/life balance with a good support network and no financial insecurities then there will always be something that doesn’t meet our needs and desires. We also know people who seem to be able to organise their lives and be super-efficient, self-disciplined, high achievers or super-mums who make us feel like inadequate failures.   However, we shouldn’t compare ourselves to others, what you see on the surface isn’t necessarily the truth, we can’t know what other people are dealing with and what it would be like in their shoes.  We are our own worse judges and critics and beat ourselves up over our mistakes and setbacks.


With all this in mind I thought I’d also address the setbacks that hinder our progress and look at various ways we can deal with them to overcome some of the obstacles that get in our way. Rather than address all these issues here I’m going to break them down into individual posts.  Some of the subjects I’m planning on writing about are listed below (in no particular order), as I publish them I’ll also add a link to them, if I can work out how to do that. This is what I have in mind:

A lot of the topics will be related to my own issues and the methods I have used or intend to use on my wellbeing journey and will also complement the articles on different therapies I’m interested in.   You can find lots of self-help books and webpages on these subjects but you can also get overwhelmed with the amount of information out there so I’m going try to write brief, easy to read posts that will hopefully be useful to you.

And Finally

I hope you enjoy reading my blog and I thank you for the time you have taken to read it. If you you would like to see future content then please enter your email address and press the subscribe button below, I have no intention of using you email addresses for any other purpose other than to inform you of new posts I have published.

I also welcome any feedback and suggestions you may have and I’m happy for you to share this with your friends and colleagues.

I am currently affiliated with Body FX. This page may contain other affiliated links and if you purchase any item from following one of these links I may receive a small commission. Images that I haven’t taken myself are from, or

I am currently affiliated with Body FX. This page may contain other affiliated links and if you purchase any item from following one of these links I may receive a small commission. Images that I haven’t taken myself are from, or