Acknowledging the Bad to Appreciate the Good


I’m still working on my health and fitness regime which is up and down depending on my energy levels and how busy I’ve been.    For example, with the arrival of the lovely spring weather I’ve spent a lot more time working in the garden, mainly weeding but planting summer bulbs and seeds too.   However, at the end of the day I find myself wondering why I’m in so much pain.   Then I remember how I’ve been getting up and down off the floor, using my arms to help myself and my hands digging up those deep roots.  


It doesn’t take a lot of work to feel like you’ve ran a marathon when you have fibromyalgia.  I’m so determined not to identify myself with the condition that I forget that this is what causes the symptoms I get.   So I thought give you a little bit of insight into how fibromyalgia impacts my life.


One of the main symptoms is widespread pain.   I consider myself luckier than many because I’m not in constant agonising pain and relying on pain medication to function.   However, I suffer with painful stiffness most of the time, it’s worse in the mornings after being in bed all night and in the evenings after resting, it’s like I turn to stone when I’m still for too long and I feel like a rusty tin man trying to get up and walk.   

I have problems with my knees, I struggle to get down on the floor and getting up from a chair can be agonising, I’m not sure if this is fibromyalgia or not.  The numerous times I’ve been to a doctor over the years, they examine me and say there is nothing wrong, they won’t even send me for x-rays or scans.   I’ve had physio but that didn’t help.   I know losing weight will reduce the stress put on them and that’s all part of the plan but sometime exercise is very painful.

The rest of the pain I get is more a feeling of being bruised all over, any pressure can be felt right down to my bones.   When I use the blood pressure monitor, the inflated band causes excruciating pain, as though it was a metal clamp with nails penetrating the skin.  At my worst I get random stabbing pains and any area I’ve been putting stress on through work or exercise is very painful, I get hot tingling sensations occasionally from my sacrum area up to my waist and very restless.

I don’t like taking medication and try to avoid painkillers if I can help it.   I can’t take anti-inflammatories anymore due to the heart medication I’m on so all I can take is paracetamol which I will take if its too difficult to sleep etc.   I try to manage with Epsom salt baths and homemade pain relief oils with essential oils.

The main thing I focus on is that it is only temporary, I’m not in this state constantly and I’m very grateful for that.  


I think this is the worst part of it, my energy levels are very low most of the time.  If I do feel particularly energetic, I have to be very careful not to overdo it and clean the whole house or do two hours in the gym.  It’s so tempting when you feel good to just get all those tasks out of the way but if I don’t pace myself I will crash and end up having to rest for far longer.  The frustrating thing about this is no matter how many times you tell people about your condition, they forget and don’t understand, notice or make allowances for you.   You end up feeling lazy and useless and feel that everyone thinks you are just making excuses, this can lead to trying to do more than you should so that you don’t feel judged and then end up in a worse situation having to recover from another flare up.   Anyone with an ‘invisible’ illness will understand this.


Fibromyalgia also causes brain fog so I get very forgetful and struggle to concentrate for long periods of time.  I have to remind myself of this too when I struggle with the French language and beat myself up for not trying harder to learn it.    If I don’t make a ToDo List I sometimes get a bit disorientate not knowing what to do because I have so many things I’m trying to do it can get overwhelming.  


I have a very sensitive sense of smell, I can’t tolerate artificial fragrances and any fowl smell is extreme, I can smell the cat’s little tray from the other side of the house.  My nose is constantly blocked but not congested, as though my airways have closed up which makes using the CPAP machine difficult.   I can’t stand very loud noises or the wind either, they make me very on edge and anxious.


There are things that make my condition worse and I try to be careful to avoid them or at least prepare myself for them, these are:

Mental/Emotional Stress:   Any form of stress puts me into a state where I find it difficult to function.   It could be having to deal with official matters, tax etc.  The vast amount of administration for the children’s education or sometimes healthcare.  Worries about financial security.  Unexpected change of plans that require me to take some form of action.

Lack of Sleep:   If I have a bad nights sleep my symptoms are quite often at their worst the following day which isn’t too bad if I don’t have plans, I just take it easy, but if I have to work, go to appointments or social engagements I find it extremely difficult.

Overwork:  Like I said earlier, too much exercise or manual labour cause a flare up.    Even though it’s essential to exercise for my heart and weight control, too much physical work can have a detrimental effect.   It’s necessary to get the right balance.  If I pace myself, I may feel bad at the end of the day but usually recover by the next day.

Negativity:  All of these setbacks can lead to spiralling negative thoughts and feelings.   Frustration leads to despair to feeling useless, feeling trapped in a cyclone of obstacles.  There have been times when I have given in to self-pity, feeling alone in my world of pain.  No matter what I try nothing improves.   The exhaustion has sometimes got to a point where I wish I could go to sleep for weeks and wake up healed.  You start to believe the judgement of medical professionals.  They all tell me to lose weight ‘eat less and move more’ as if I didn’t know that.  During my last visit to the doctor I told her how desperate I was to lose weight but that it was difficult having a family to cater for too and she simply said ‘children don’t need biscuits either’!!!!   I didn’t have the energy to explain that it wasn’t the unhealthy snacking but that sometimes I can’t even think about what to make for dinner let alone have the energy to prepare it so I let the family cater for themselves and eat whatever is easy.  I felt she would just think I was making excuses and no one will take me seriously until I lose a lot of weight.  These negative scenarios do not help me in any way, just make me want to give up.


Generally, I am a very positive person though.  I am a complementary therapist, I go to healing workshops and study various other healing methods and still believe that life is good and will be even better.   But I also have a shadow side and even the most positive person can feel sorry for themselves.   I don’t always practice what I preach and have never tried to be a saint or guru etc. 

I truly believe that we have a purpose in life, or that we can create one.  My passion is Self-Healing, Therapy Work and Writing and this is what this blog is about.  

Putting myself out there and sharing my journey helps me to centre myself and get back on the right track.


The healing methods I’m focussing on are the ones I write articles on, you can find them in the menu at the top of the page.  I’m also studying other therapies for my business that will have a positive effect on my own wellbeing too.

After recently seeing other people go through problems where I was not able to help such victims of wars, poverty and ill health, I felt very sad.   But I reflected on it for a while and decided that even though I can acknowledge these matters and help in whatever way I can like, donating money or clothing, sending healing etc.  If there is nothing else I can do, then I need to focus on the things I can control.  These things are my own personal health, finding ways to earn a better living, work in the garden, continue my studies and find time for my creative hobbies.   I am so fortunate that I have so many options no matter how I’m feeling physically.

One way to help others and myself is by reaching out to them by writing this blog and putting positive posts on social media.   When I write a post or article, I get inspired to take action myself because I feel more optimistic and enthusiastic about the subjects I’m exploring.

A healing method I’m writing about now is ‘Forgiveness’, I wont talk about it too much here because I will publish it at the same time as this post.   But it’s one of the best ways to release emotions that are locked in your body and mind enabling you to move forward.

So I’m going finish off this post by making a commitment to keep practicing gratitude, acceptance, self compassion, and overcome my self-limiting beliefs, by practicing what I preach!

I hope you found this article interesting and useful. If you like this take look at some of my other pages where I talk about different therapies. If you’d like to see my future content then please enter your email and press subscribe below and you will be alerted when I publish anything new. Also, as this is a new website I would love to hear your opinions and suggestions about what I write and you can make comments at the bottom of the page. Thank You for taking the time to read this. Until next time, I wish you all the very best. Janet x

I am currently affiliated with Body FX. This page may contain other affiliated links and if you purchase any item from following one of these links I may receive a small commission. Images that I haven’t taken myself are from or

I am currently affiliated with Body FX. This page may contain other affiliated links and if you purchase any item from following one of these links I may receive a small commission. Images that I haven’t taken myself are from or

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