Category Archives: Surrendering

ACCEPTANCE IS BETTER THAN IDENTIFYING

Why we should not identify with negative feelings and situations

Our emotions can be incredibly powerful and sometimes overwhelming, influencing our thoughts, behaviours, and even our reality.  However, we have the power to control our emotions and not let them define our reality.

Identifying with negative feelings, such as anger, anxiety, or sadness, can be a natural response to difficult situations or experiences. However, it’s important to recognize that identifying with negative feelings can have negative consequences for our mental and emotional well-being.

Identifying with negative feelings can lead to a negative self-image. When we identify with negative feelings, we may begin to see ourselves as flawed or inadequate, which can eat away at our self-esteem and confidence. This can create a negative cycle, where we feel even more negative emotions and become more identified with them.

Identifying with negative feelings can also limit our ability to connect with others. When we are stuck in negative emotions, we can become isolated or withdraw from social interactions. This can make it difficult to build and maintain positive relationships with others.

We can also end up with a sense of powerlessness or helplessness. When we feel like we are defined by our negative emotions, we may believe that we have no control over our situation or our feelings. This can lead to a sense of hopelessness or resignation.

How does acceptance work in negative situations:

By practicing mindfulness and self-awareness we can accept that we have these feelings and thoughts and understand that there is a reason for them, without allowing them to become our reality. This involves observing our thoughts and emotions without judgment, and recognizing that they do not define us. We can also practice self-compassion and treat ourselves with kindness and understanding, even when we are experiencing negative emotions

Change the dialogue of those negative feelings from ‘I am’ to ‘I feel’ like below:

  • I am tired
  • I am angry
  • I am a failure
  • I am useless
  • I am sad
  • I feel tired
  • I feel angry
  • I feel like a failure
  • I feel useless
  • I feel sad

Can you see the difference?

When you state ‘I am’ you are affirming with your subconscious mind that something is a fact . . . your reality.

However, when you state ‘I feel’ then you are still acknowledging the negativity BUT because you have accepted it as a feeling, there is room for change because feelings are temporary.

You can use ‘I am’ statements in a positive way as AFFIRMATIONS

An affirmation is a positive statement or declaration that is used to reprogram the subconscious mind with a new belief or attitude. It is a tool that can help to overcome negative thoughts and beliefs and develop a more positive mindset. Affirmations are written in the present tense and in a positive and specific manner. For example, “I am confident and capable” or “I am worthy of love and respect.” By repeating these statements to oneself regularly, you can start to internalize and believe them, which can lead to positive changes in their behaviour, emotions, and overall well-being.

By taking control of our emotions, we can change our reality and create a more positive and fulfilling life. We can improve our relationships with others, make better decisions, and feel more confident and empowered. It’s not always easy, but with practice and persistence, we can learn to manage our emotions and live a more fulfilling life.

Thank you for reading my article. I cover a range of subjects from my work as a complementary therapist, personal experiences and interests.

Thank you for taking the time to read my post. If you like this article please take look at some of my other pages or blog posts where I talk about different therapies and my own wellbeing journey and if you’d like to see future posts then please enter your email address and click on the subscribe button below and you will be notified of future content. I have no plans to use your email address for any other purpose. Feel free to share my page with anyone you feel may be interested and if you have any feedback about what I write or suggestions for further articles then please use the comment box further down the page. Warmest Wishes, Janet x

Thank you for taking the time to read my post. If you like this article please take look at some of my other pages or blog posts where I talk about different therapies and my own wellbeing journey and if you’d like to see future posts then please enter your email address and click on the subscribe button below and you will be notified of future content. I have no plans to use your email address for any other purpose. Feel free to share my page with anyone you feel may be interested and if you have any feedback about what I write or suggestions for further articles then please use the comment box further down the page. Warmest Wishes, Janet x

https://www.solistic.fr/

Images that I haven’t taken myself are from pixabay.com, unsplash.com or pexels.com.

THE POWER OF SURRENDERING

I’ve had a few challenges over the past few months:

  • Problems with inadequate hot water system and waiting for new heating system to be installed. Therefore I couldn’t have my relaxing hot baths to help with fibromyalgia pain and have to boil a kettle to wash greasy dishes.
  • I had a fall and injured my right shoulder which is still causing me pain, and for unknown reasons my left hip has been extremely painful so sleeping has been difficult and I haven’t been able to work.
  • I had a stressful time hiring a car on my trip to the UK, I won’t bore you with the details.
  • I had positive news at my follow-up appointment after the Cardiac Ablation procedure and they said I could come off medication but less than two weeks later my blood pressure was shot up and I was getting the occasional arrhythmia episode, so I’m back on the medication for the moment.
  • My washing machine and TV remote control broke down.
  • The heating installation finally happened but during the coldest spell of snow and ice, the original one was ripped out and the new one isn’t very warm.

I’m sure there have been more events but can’t remember everything, the thing is, I would normally have been very stressed over these events making my medical issues worse but this time I just went with the flow. It wasn’t intentional but I remained calm and carried on the best I could. I was thinking about this last night as people have been surprised at my positive attitude throughout. I realised that I had surrendered to the situations because they were out of my control so I had been in a place of acceptance and didn’t dwell on the negativity of it all. This made me think about how powerful it was to surrender.

Why is Surrendering a Good Thing?

Letting go of resistance

When we resist what is happening around us, we often create unnecessary stress and negative emotions. When we are constantly fighting against circumstances beyond our control, we can become overwhelmed and feel powerless. Surrendering helps to let go of this resistance and allows us to be more present and mindful in the moment. This can lead to a sense of peace and acceptance, which can be incredibly powerful in and of itself.

Focus on What you Can Control

Focussing on what you can control enables you to take action and put your energy towards making positive changes in your life.

Faith in the Universe

When we surrender and stop trying to control everything, we can start to trust that things will work out in the way they are meant to. This can lead to a greater sense of trust in the universe and in oneself and feelings of inner peace and tranquillity.

Opportunity for Growth

I’ve attended many personal development workshops and courses over the years including Buddhist Retreats and one thing the Buddhists taught me was to embrace difficult situations as a way to practice remaining calm amongst the chaos around you. We know that being stressed and angry doesn’t help matters and can even make them worse by causing more negative situations through our behaviour in those moments. By remaining calm we can think more clearly and feel more empowered because we are not letting them affect us negatively.

Not Giving Up

It’s important to note that surrendering doesn’t mean giving up, it means accepting reality and working with it. It’s about letting go of the need to control everything and instead, trusting the process and flow of life.

Action plan for Surrendering for Personal Growth:

Surrendering is a skill that takes time and practice to develop. It’s not something that happens overnight. Be patient with yourself and keep working on it, it can lead to significant personal growth and inner peace.

  • Recognize when you are resisting a situation or circumstance.
  • Remind yourself that resistance creates stress and negative emotions.
  • Practice mindfulness and focus on the present moment.
  • Let go of the need to control the situation and trust that things will work out as they should.
  • Accept the reality of the situation and work with it rather than against it.
  • Put your energy towards what you can control and make positive changes in your life.
  • Reflect on the experience and notice any changes in your mindset and emotions.
  • Repeat the process when faced with similar situations in the future.

Thank you for reading my article. I cover a range of subjects from my work as a complementary therapist, personal experiences and interests.

Thank you for taking the time to read my post. If you like this article please take look at some of my other pages or blog posts where I talk about different therapies and my own wellbeing journey and if you’d like to see future posts then please enter your email address and click on the subscribe button below and you will be notified of future content. I have no plans to use your email address for any other purpose. Feel free to share my page with anyone you feel may be interested and if you have any feedback about what I write or suggestions for further articles then please use the comment box further down the page. Warmest Wishes, Janet x

Thank you for taking the time to read my post. If you like this article please take look at some of my other pages or blog posts where I talk about different therapies and my own wellbeing journey and if you’d like to see future posts then please enter your email address and click on the subscribe button below and you will be notified of future content. I have no plans to use your email address for any other purpose. Feel free to share my page with anyone you feel may be interested and if you have any feedback about what I write or suggestions for further articles then please use the comment box further down the page. Warmest Wishes, Janet x

https://www.solistic.fr/

Images that I haven’t taken myself are from pixabay.com, unsplash.com or pexels.com.